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How would I get myself in the right frame of mind to utilize Mutual Learning in a situation?

When you approach a situation where you are interacting with others to solve a problem or accomplish some goal, you would proceed from some basic assumptions:

You have information; others may also have relevant information that may be different or conflicting. So we need to find out what information we each have.

Each of us may see things others do not, because of different information, biases, or background. If we can understand where our differences stem from, maybe we can design a richer solution.

Differences are opportunities for learning. When we differ, there is an opportunity to learn something new from each other. Remember that people are trying to act with integrity given their situation, empathy and compassion quotient.

Then there are core values that are imperative for mutual learning:

• Valid information: you will reveal all relevant information you have on the subject, whether it supports your position or not. Ideally this information is validated by an independent source or by the people concerned.
• Free informed choice: Decisions are not coerced, seek to create an environment for everyone involved so people agree to do things because they have all the information, not because they feel manipulated or coerced. They commit to a resolution because they use their own reasoning and have seen all points of view.
• Internal commitment to the decision: once a decision is made, people will do whatever is necessary to implement the decision
• Compassion: you will temporarily suspend judgment in order to understand other people’s perspectives, rather than protecting yourself or others, which would be unilateral control.

How is it different from other schools of learning, training, or education?

Unilateral control model is predominant in most organizations. When we work with people or groups we have to work to change how people have been conditioned to communicate and make decisions.

Mutual learning would be considered the opposite of unilateral control. In unilateral control, the goal is to get everyone to achieve my goal. The mantra is win don’t lose. The goal of communications is to minimize expressing negative feelings. In unilateral control, my assumption is that I have pure motives and that others only oppose me if they have impure motives or unfounded feelings. Thus, opposition is based on irrationality; the only rational arguments are those that support my position.